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I Don't Feel Permanent Today

from Flat On Every Side by Adam Balbo

/

lyrics

I can’t leave. I can’t stay. I can’t stand. I can’t pray.
I’m only a fortress with one pair of legs.
Gave up being interested. No one was listenening.
I’m just some noise in a really loud world.
My ears are still still. My eyes are still wide.
My face seems together. My lips keep dividing.
This noise that comes forth from me is all that I’m good for, see.
Take what you can. Leave what you cannot.
I’m standing in different places, comparing different faces,
seeing how you cannot be human and forfeit some races.
I get up. I go on. I come on. I go out. I come down, get off, and I’ll do it again.
I wanna put all my thoughts in a sign.
I’d prefer to cry, but then my words wouldn’t stay dry.
The secret was out as I began to shout.
I was shut up cause I didn’t know what to get angry about.
Just because you agree with me doesn’t mean I think you’re right.
I don’t feel like living for nothing. I feel like I’m living despite.

But oh … I’m OK.
I just don’t feel that permanent today.
But oh … I’m OK.
I just don’t feel that permanent today.

I believe idealism’s still real. You can produce it in bulk.
You can drive it around your block. You can wrap it up in talk.
If fact, talk all you want. You should want all your talk.
If you talk enough shit, eventually you’re gonna hafta wade around in it.
Everyone’s mouth is most comfy to themselves.
Most of this shit shouldn’t matter cause most of us are just a bunch of chatter.
But fuck this facetiousness. I’m just tired and bored.
Funny, everyone’s talking, but most people still feel ignored.
Yeah, there’s car-bombs, hijacks, and anthrax attacks.
The most terrible thing someone could do to another is not fight back.
It’s too boring to be bored. I’m too tired to scream.
Even if I said I was just joking, somewhere someone’s laughing at me.
Sometimes I just say shit. I just like the sound.
I bet if I let go of this guitar, my ego would fall down.
I’m self-conscious, yes obnoxious. But I’m holding my own.
Getting some help. Getting on and letting go.

But oh … I’m OK.
I just don’t feel that permanent today.
But oh … I’m OK.
I just don’t feel that permanent today.

credits

from Flat On Every Side, released November 15, 2004

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